Hey, someone wrote a Bill Belichick post about Chip Kelly!

Image Via BleacherReport

No, for real, check it out. It’s right here in the ESPN archives and it was written…huh, seven years ago? Oddly good job forecasting, ESPN! And don’t worry about all those typos — I’ll touch them all up for you:

To understand [Kelly], look what he did with [Eagles]

Continue reading “Hey, someone wrote a Bill Belichick post about Chip Kelly!”

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Hey, someone wrote a Bill Belichick post about Chip Kelly!

And Just like That…

…our network goes down at work. It’s like a sign from the Gods that I have to spend the day blogging. Very well, Gods. I shall honor your wishes.

Let’s keep the Super Bowl train rolling with my favorite reaction to any event of all time: Mr. Donaldtron Trumpbot. Guess who he blamed for Seattle’s decision to throw the ball at the 1-yard line???

THANKS OBAMA
THANKS OBAMA

 

Yes, you read that right: Trump is blaming it on…President Obama. I know the whole “THANKS OBAMA” meme has taken off, but this, like everything else Donald Trump does, feels decidedly unironic. Also: “Same thought process!”? SAME THOUGHT PROCESS?? Same as…what? What is he even trying to say about Obama there? That throwing the ball from the 1-yard line is like Obamacare? That the Benghazi scandal was equivalent to not giving the ball to Marshawn Lynch? This is just political for the sake of being political.

Only 8 months until football is back again!

And Just like That…

And This Was in My Gmail *THIS* Morning

CNN.com Recently Published/Updated – Lynch faces Congress in attorney general hearing – 1 hour ago

Wow — I knew the NFL was upset with Marshawn Lynch for his standoffish attitude toward the media, but a Congressional hearing?! That seems wildly excessive to me — Roger Goodell has gone mad with power!

If he’s coming down this hard on Lynch for his media availability, what can we expect from Deflategate?! My guess is a military tribunal in which the Patriots are found to have violated the Geneva Convention, subsequently resulting in their public executions. Consider this a shot across the bow, ballboys.

And This Was in My Gmail *THIS* Morning

This Headline Was in My Gmail This Morning

ESPN.com – Browner’s targeting plans sadden Seahawks – 11 hours ago”

“I’m not even mad — I’m just disappointed,” said Russell Wilson. “I just thought they were better than that.” K.J. Wright added: “To say I’m sad is an understatement. We can move past it…I’m willing to forgive it, but I won’t forget it.”

“Sigh…where did we go wrong? Is this our fault? Are we bad teammates?”

This Headline Was in My Gmail This Morning

1998 Denver Broncos vs. 2014 Denver Broncos

Seriously, this thing is going to take up all my time today. My first thought was to make my Denver Broncos play themselves, so I took the 1998 team and sent them on the “road” to play the 2014 team. Elway vs. Manning! Thomas/Sanders vs. Smith/Sharpe! Terrell Davis vs….uh, C.J. Anderson! Epic!

DEN 98 vs. DEN 14

Bam! I simulated it a few times just for fun, but the 1998 Broncos only lost one of the 6-7 times I tried it. This particular result was my favorite, though: I set the weather to snowy and left the teams to their own devices. To no one’s surprise, it was a true QB duel:

DEN 98 vs. DEN 14 Box

 

Elway and Manning combined for 464 yards and 5 TD passes with zero turnovers — I’m not sure you could have hoped for a better result than that. Terrell Davis had quite a game for himself, topping 100 yards and finding the end zone; all of the big play WRs/TEs delivered too, with only McCaffrey and Julius Thomas held out of the end zone.

But the real kicker here? Check out the 4th Quarter drive log:

DEN 98 vs. DEN 14 Last Drive

That’s right: Taking over at their own 36 with 5:09 to go, Elway calmly marched the 1998 Broncos down the field and hit Rod Smith for a 20-yard go-ahead TD with 1:43 remaining. As if there was any doubt who the most clutchity clutchity clutch QB in history is, Manning stupid and chokishly gets the ball to Welker at midfield…and Welker proceeds to fumble it. Game: 1998 Broncos. Thanks for nothing, Peyton!

1998 Denver Broncos vs. 2014 Denver Broncos