Hey, someone wrote a Bill Belichick post about Chip Kelly!

Image Via BleacherReport

No, for real, check it out. It’s right here in the ESPN archives and it was written…huh, seven years ago? Oddly good job forecasting, ESPN! And don’t worry about all those typos — I’ll touch them all up for you:

To understand [Kelly], look what he did with [Eagles]

Continue reading “Hey, someone wrote a Bill Belichick post about Chip Kelly!”

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Hey, someone wrote a Bill Belichick post about Chip Kelly!

SECirclejerk: Our Long, Biased National Nightmare Is Over

Image credit: Creg Stephenson/AL.com. (But also to Blake Sims for, you know, throwing that ball.)

Hey, guys. Not sure if anyone heard the news, but top-ranked SEC juggernaut Alabama was beaten in last week’s Sugar Bowl by a third-string QB and a 230-yard rushing performance from a sophomore. SEC Speed indeed!

The loss means that, for the first time since 2005, an SEC team won’t be in college football’s ultimate game — instead, Oregon will meet Ohio State in what’s basically a Rose Bowl on steroids. (Is that a touchy word to use in a football article? My bad.)

What it also means is that we’ll be mercifully spared another long off-season of listening to the most overrated conference in college football jerk itself off. Hooray!

Continue reading “SECirclejerk: Our Long, Biased National Nightmare Is Over”

SECirclejerk: Our Long, Biased National Nightmare Is Over

RIP Stuart Scott

I’ve got some real writing coming up soon — really, I do! — but I felt it was right to take a moment to acknowledge that ESPN mainstay Stuart Scott passed on today after a long battle with cancer. I always thought Scott was a little too “larger than life” sometimes, but there’s no denying his influence on ESPN, SportsCenter and on sportscasting in general. Watching Rich Eisen tear up when breaking the news on NFL Network is one of the most heartfelt, tear-inducing moments I’ve seen on TV in a long time.

I figured it was only right to post my favorite Stuart Scott-themed video of all time: this terrific SNL parody from many years ago. Ray Romano is ostensibly the star of the bit, but Tim Meadows as Stuart Scott is priceless. Watch and enjoy, sports fans.

https://screen.yahoo.com/sports-center-ray-romano-000000679.html?format=embed

RIP Stuart Scott

A Tale of Two Brady’s

2 Bradys

 (Brady attempting to remove his choker label)

 

I’m not sure if you can tell, but football analysis bugs the shit out of me. The ESPN hype machine only fuels the fire (looking at you, Skip Bayless….see what I did there?). After New England’s recent drubbing of Denver, the knee-jerk reaction from the media is Brady is back, Peyton still can’t beat Brady, etc., etc. Continue reading “A Tale of Two Brady’s”

A Tale of Two Brady’s

ESPN Presents: “Who’s Now” (AKA “Who Was Then” – A Retrospective On ESPN’s Worst Feature Ever)

You’ll be hard-pressed to get me to support ESPN in virtually any capacity these days: their programming is aimed largely at infotainment (i.e. shows with pundits trying to be more outrageous than one another – I’m looking at you, Rob Parker), they unashamedly pimp the sports and conferences they directly sponsor (it’s no accident ESPN overrates the SEC so much) and ignore the sports they don’t get any incentive to cover, like the NHL. They’ve largely abandoned the things that made them so successful in search of shtick-heavy anchors and bloviating analysts.

So yeah, ESPN has made a lot of questionable decisions over the years. But for my money, no one thing so quintessentially captures everything that was and still is wrong with ESPN like one SportsCenter feature in particular: the “Who’s Now” series.

Continue reading “ESPN Presents: “Who’s Now” (AKA “Who Was Then” – A Retrospective On ESPN’s Worst Feature Ever)”

ESPN Presents: “Who’s Now” (AKA “Who Was Then” – A Retrospective On ESPN’s Worst Feature Ever)