That’s a Photoshop of Guy Fieri without his signature “flair” (i.e. spiked blonde hair, goatee, etc.). See? Terrifying. If you follow the link, they even give you a slider so you can see them side by side. What you do with that information is entirely up to you, dear readers.
Because it’s way cheaper and healthier than the alternative, I’m pretty fond of cooking for myself, a fact that seems to take a lot of people by surprise for some reason. Many of them have even jokingly suggested that I should have my own cooking show, which is of course ridiculous: I have no culinary background or restaurant experience, my exposure to unique ingredients is incredibly limited, and most nights I’m too lazy to even cook so I rely on leftovers.
That said, you know what the easiest job in the entire world is? (Well, besides Antonio Cromartie’s alimony lawyer or Jay Leno’s joke writer.) Hosting a show on the Food Network. I know they want you to think it’s a tense and dramatic ordeal – hello, Next Food Network Star! – but in actuality you really only need the creativity of a desk lamp and charisma of a slightly charismatic desk lamp.
Join me, if you wish, as I teach you all there is to know about becoming a celebrity chef.