Your Day Just Got Better

ST shared this with me via e-mail, but it’s sufficiently terrifying/relevant (terrelevant?) that I had to share it here. Prepare to have your dreams raped:

 

GOOD AFTERNOON CHILDREN I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY FRIEND MR. WINDOWLESS VAN

 

That’s a Photoshop of Guy Fieri without his signature “flair” (i.e. spiked blonde hair, goatee, etc.). See? Terrifying. If you follow the link, they even give you a slider so you can see them side by side. What you do with that information is entirely up to you, dear readers.

 

–jsg

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Your Day Just Got Better

So You Wanna Be a Food Network Host

(Image Via)

Because it’s way cheaper and healthier than the alternative, I’m pretty fond of cooking for myself, a fact that seems to take a lot of people by surprise for some reason. Many of them have even jokingly suggested that I should have my own cooking show, which is of course ridiculous: I have no culinary background or restaurant experience, my exposure to unique ingredients is incredibly limited, and most nights I’m too lazy to even cook so I rely on leftovers.

That said, you know what the easiest job in the entire world is? (Well, besides Antonio Cromartie’s alimony lawyer or Jay Leno’s joke writer.) Hosting a show on the Food Network. I know they want you to think it’s a tense and dramatic ordeal – hello, Next Food Network Star! – but in actuality you really only need the creativity of a desk lamp and charisma of a slightly charismatic desk lamp.

Join me, if you wish, as I teach you all there is to know about becoming a celebrity chef.

Continue reading “So You Wanna Be a Food Network Host”

So You Wanna Be a Food Network Host