Come on NHL, Have You Learned *Anything* at All?

The Stadium Series game at Levi’s Stadium is tonight! Sharks! Kings! Bright lights! White pants!¬†Excitement all around!

Much like last year’s Ducks-Kings affair at iconic Dodger Stadium, the NHL has set up a high-quality sheet of ice on a relatively warm night in California — this is, of course, amazing that they’re able to do this so consistently at this point, even/especially in warm weather markets.

So let’s celebrate! It’s a California-based event, and last year LA had KISS on hand, which led to one of my favorite pictures ever:

I seriously almost put this in a frame and hung it on my wall at work
I seriously almost put this in a frame and hung it on my wall at work

 

So the floor is yours, NHL: it’s an otherwise unremarkable night in the sports world, so let’s really kick things up and impress people with a cool music show! Who’d you get this year? Someone hip and cool, right? Someone that screams California energy, no doubt. Someone like…

Wait…what? No, hold on.

Hold on.

This can’t be right. This just…this just can’t be right?

You got…Melissa Etheridge and John Fogerty? To play music? At the game??

I just…I just don’t know what to do with you anymore, NHL. And the game, as I type this, is being kicked off with music from some American Idol contestant named Chris Kris Allen? At least he’s got the windswept hair and leather jacket I might have expected from someone cool, and it looks like he’s got an orchestra behind him. This is actually extremely cool work, NHL. It’s almost enough to make me look silly for writing a thing lambasting your marketing/pr departments, until you go back and consider that MELISSA ETHERIDGE AND JOHN FOGERTY ARE GONNA PLAY LATER.

Melissa Etheridge is 53 years old. John Fogerty is 69 — he was borh the year WWII ended, for fuck’s sake. Kris Allen is 29, which I think makes him the youngest performer at any NHL event ever by roughly 60 years. I mean, I know this isn’t the Super Bowl and you’re never gonna get a Katy Perry-level spectacle, but come on. Were Imagine Dragons busy? I bet Metric would do it, seeing as how they did that Heritage Classic a few years back. I’m just saying there are options, guys.

Hell, just get everything from Katy Perry’s show except for Katy Perry herself. (Was this just a flimsy excuse to post my favorite GIF ever? You decide!)

I guess what I’m saying is: go Sharks?

Come on NHL, Have You Learned *Anything* at All?

More Like This Plz

The NHL has been experimenting with GoPro cameras for a while now, but as far as I can remember this is the first time they’ve been used in a real game. This is Brandon Saad’s goal from yesterday’s Winter Classic, seen through the eyes of the official. A little hard to follow, maybe, but a refreshing new look at the game from an awesome vantage point.

Dear NHL: Start doing this all the time. Worst case you can just ignore all the footage, best case you get 3-5 instances of sweet new angles during the game. Get on that.

More Like This Plz

NYD PSA: The Winter Classic Is the Best Thing You Aren’t Watching

Image credit: Susan Walsh/Associated Press via ESPN

New Year’s Day is upon us, which means it’s time to sack up and nurse your hangovers with some goddamn sports — and unless you’re a die-hard fan of one of the six college football teams in action right now (possible) or a huge fan of marathons on cable (hopefully impossible), the Winter Classic is the best pre-Rose Bowl thing on TV by a wide margin.

The Blackhawks and Capitals feature plenty of star power, but the real draw is the allure of an outdoor hockey game itself: it’s a picturesque spectacle that represents a return to childhood innocence for the players — and the game is usually held at a cool venue in a place where there’s a chance for snowfall. Nothing gets prettier than that.

In short, pour yourself a Bloody Mary or six, tune in to NBC and ensure your morning gets started right. Happy New Year!

NYD PSA: The Winter Classic Is the Best Thing You Aren’t Watching