Come on NHL, Have You Learned *Anything* at All?

The Stadium Series game at Levi’s Stadium is tonight! Sharks! Kings! Bright lights! White pants! Excitement all around!

Much like last year’s Ducks-Kings affair at iconic Dodger Stadium, the NHL has set up a high-quality sheet of ice on a relatively warm night in California — this is, of course, amazing that they’re able to do this so consistently at this point, even/especially in warm weather markets.

So let’s celebrate! It’s a California-based event, and last year LA had KISS on hand, which led to one of my favorite pictures ever:

I seriously almost put this in a frame and hung it on my wall at work

 

So the floor is yours, NHL: it’s an otherwise unremarkable night in the sports world, so let’s really kick things up and impress people with a cool music show! Who’d you get this year? Someone hip and cool, right? Someone that screams California energy, no doubt. Someone like…

Wait…what? No, hold on.

Hold on.

This can’t be right. This just…this just can’t be right?

You got…Melissa Etheridge and John Fogerty? To play music? At the game??

I just…I just don’t know what to do with you anymore, NHL. And the game, as I type this, is being kicked off with music from some American Idol contestant named Chris Kris Allen? At least he’s got the windswept hair and leather jacket I might have expected from someone cool, and it looks like he’s got an orchestra behind him. This is actually extremely cool work, NHL. It’s almost enough to make me look silly for writing a thing lambasting your marketing/pr departments, until you go back and consider that MELISSA ETHERIDGE AND JOHN FOGERTY ARE GONNA PLAY LATER.

Melissa Etheridge is 53 years old. John Fogerty is 69 — he was borh the year WWII ended, for fuck’s sake. Kris Allen is 29, which I think makes him the youngest performer at any NHL event ever by roughly 60 years. I mean, I know this isn’t the Super Bowl and you’re never gonna get a Katy Perry-level spectacle, but come on. Were Imagine Dragons busy? I bet Metric would do it, seeing as how they did that Heritage Classic a few years back. I’m just saying there are options, guys.

Hell, just get everything from Katy Perry’s show except for Katy Perry herself. (Was this just a flimsy excuse to post my favorite GIF ever? You decide!)

I guess what I’m saying is: go Sharks?

This Feels like All of My NHL 14 Online Games Rolled into One

DAT GLOVE DOE:

The NHL All-Star Skills Competition is AWESOME

I feel the same way, guys. I feel the same way:

More Like This Plz

The NHL has been experimenting with GoPro cameras for a while now, but as far as I can remember this is the first time they’ve been used in a real game. This is Brandon Saad’s goal from yesterday’s Winter Classic, seen through the eyes of the official. A little hard to follow, maybe, but a refreshing new look at the game from an awesome vantage point.

Dear NHL: Start doing this all the time. Worst case you can just ignore all the footage, best case you get 3-5 instances of sweet new angles during the game. Get on that.

That Being Said…

The opening act for the Winter Classic is Billy Idol. So, you know: maybe wait a little while to tune in.

NYD PSA: The Winter Classic Is the Best Thing You Aren’t Watching

Image credit: Susan Walsh/Associated Press via ESPN

New Year’s Day is upon us, which means it’s time to sack up and nurse your hangovers with some goddamn sports — and unless you’re a die-hard fan of one of the six college football teams in action right now (possible) or a huge fan of marathons on cable (hopefully impossible), the Winter Classic is the best pre-Rose Bowl thing on TV by a wide margin.

The Blackhawks and Capitals feature plenty of star power, but the real draw is the allure of an outdoor hockey game itself: it’s a picturesque spectacle that represents a return to childhood innocence for the players — and the game is usually held at a cool venue in a place where there’s a chance for snowfall. Nothing gets prettier than that.

In short, pour yourself a Bloody Mary or six, tune in to NBC and ensure your morning gets started right. Happy New Year!

Am I Seeing Double?

Because this Shea Weber bobblehead that the Preds are handing out on Saturday:

Looks just like Shea Weber:

Congrats on the bobblehead, Shea! I particularly like how they’ve captured your cherubic dimples and on-ice demeanor.

(Image credits of Shea Weber to ESPN and CBS Sports, respectively)

If GG Had a Spirit Image

The Best Weekend in Sports

(Image Via)

 

Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone! I don’t know about you (especially since this is a blog that I expect like, two people to see anyway), but I’m a pretty big fan of MDW. In fact, I’m thinking about amending my old list of definitive holiday rankings to include Memorial Day — it’s not exactly in the same spirit as the others on the list, but it’s the first holiday after a long drought and it results in a long weekend of usually great weather. Not much to complain about there.

The popular thing to do on a long weekend with nice weather is to leave town: going camping, taking a quick road trip, hanging out on or in a river, etc. I get the sense that you’re supposed to feel lame if you don’t have any plans for the weekend, since virtually everyone seems to make them weeks in advance.

But since I am generally disinclined to go anywhere or do anything (I mean, who has the time?) I’m way happier to ride it out at home. Why? Because home is where I’ve got an endless supply of coffee, beer and an INSANE amount of sports programming to hold my attention the whole time. I realize I’m openly advocating for my own lameness, but…I mean, read through my post history. It’s not like we wouldn’t have come to that conclusion anyway.

Memorial Day Weekend is by far the best one in sports all year. Here’s what it has looked like so far:

Luongo Dislikes Smoke

(Image Via)

You know how some days you’re like “Man, I woke up early because I couldn’t fall back asleep because so many random ideas were floating around in my head so let’s make breakfast and have a ton of coffee and then let’s get to work on making some of those ideas become a reality and hey, why not start with the silly 8-bit Photoshop idea because it seems like it’ll be the most fun?”

No? Just me? Alright then. Either way, hit that jump. I know you want to. Come on – all the cool kids are doing it.