glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam IV

This one comes from a friend of the blog! Well, a friend of me. She is no doubt 100% unaware of this blog and, in the event she is, has wisely never brought it up to me, because a series of awkward pauses and sighs and eye rolls isn’t much of a conversation. Anyway:

“Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification appeared to
be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of.

I say to you, I definitely get irked while people think about worries that they plainly don’t know about.
You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects
, people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more.”

All formatting preserved from the individual post, mind you — I think it adds that little something extra, you know? Not that the content itself is lacking — I love this thing like my child. Actually: more so, since I don’t have any kids because kids are lame. Fuckin’ kids, am I right? You aren’t the future. I’M the future. Bitches.

Anyway, there’s a lot to unpack here. I mean, who doesn’t get irked while people think about worries that they plainly don’t know about? And who hasn’t ever hit the nail on the head top? And of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how nice it is to have a whole topic defined without…side…effects. I can take a signal, you know!

I think my favorite part has to be how it’s just glowing comment after glowing comment and the whole thing ends with a “will likely be back to get more.” Just the idea that there’s any uncertainty after all of that makes my brain smile.

Ahh…this is by far the lamest and lowest-effort recurring bit I do here but it’s easily my favorite. Never, ever change, comment spam. Or as I always say: “Unquestionably believe that which you stated!”

(Image Via)

glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam IV

More like Super Bawl, Am I Right?

Man, there are like 500 things I want to write posts about lately and I’ve had like zero time to tackle any of them. Stupid real life getting in the way of posting outlandish steroid accusations and unnecessary rankings/lists of things!

Anyway, the biggest news in the last week was probably that awesome Super Bowl, in which the Patriots picked off a late-game pass attempt by Russell Wilson and caused Richard Sherman to do this:


Ahhhh, the schadenfreude — how delicious it is! I could watch this on loop all day long.

Anyway, I’ve got some more Sherman stuff coming up (spoilers: it involves his ultra-pretentious MMQB article from last week) and I’ve got some Super Bowl commercial thoughts too.

I guess this isn’t much of a post, now that I think about it. Oh well.

More like Super Bawl, Am I Right?

Remember When I Totally Predicted That BB Was Using Deflategate as Tacit Motivation for the Super Bowl?

I did it a few days ago and basically claimed that BB just wanted to give his team back their “nobody believed in us!” chestnut from years past. Well guess what? Looks like I have an (admittedly unlikely) ally in Dan Wetzel:

“Every team seeks an Us-Against-The-World, Nobody-Believes-In-Us mentality. They think it provides some kind of an edge even when a Super Bowl is on the line and you wouldn’t think any edge is needed. So it’s often invented.

New England is in its sixth Super Bowl with Belichick and Tom Brady, it goes to the playoffs every season, it’s always a league favorite. Trying to figure out a way to be the underdog, the doubted, the victim, it’s nearly impossible.

At least until now.”

Just remember where you heard it first, folks: from your pal JSG. See? Once you get past the fact that I swear a lot and make way too many references to drinking and I’m prone to run-on sentences and I don’t really remember all the rules of grammar, I’m basically right there as a sportswriter. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Remember When I Totally Predicted That BB Was Using Deflategate as Tacit Motivation for the Super Bowl?

Well This Was Bound to Happen at Some Point

WordPress has become self-aware:


WordPress just suggested “pointless post” as a tag for my Mack Brown post from earlier. Not only is it learning, it’s judging us now. To which I say: smartly done, WordPress. I’m on to you, but smartly done.

Well This Was Bound to Happen at Some Point

Test Post Please Ignore

Hey guys. JSG here. I know all six of our readers may have noticed already, but I’m tinkering around with the look and feel of the blog. I had a 107-point post explaining why, but somehow it got deleted, so I’ll just leave it at fatigue/desire to change things up.

On the plus side, our sweet logo is at the top now! On the hilarious side, it wrecked the fucked out of one — just one — of our older posts. I invite you to go there and re-read it. It’s a great post, plus I added a super hilarious joke about my grandparents’ eyesight. Everyone wins!

Test Post Please Ignore