Is This the Best Infomercial Ever? (Note: Yes [Part II])

 

Alright, back to the tireless process of breaking down this inexplicably long infomercial! Wait, I said timeless in the beginning, right? Nevermind, it’s time to charge ahead.

Is This the Best Infomercial Ever? (Note: Yes [Part I])

 

Infomercials aren’t exactly known for their noteworthy acting or revolutionary inventions – I don’t think any reasonable person would disagree with that. Unless you want to improve your golf game or silently torture your dog or quickly but effectively rupture your eardrums or be a boring, boner-killing prude, there’s not much utility these things will give you. Infomercial makers seem to realize this, and that’s possibly why the acting is so outrageously bad and they air during the dead of night.

They’re so bad, they’re hardly even worth writing about, right? WRONG. I’m about to walk you through the most incredible infomercial ever, and it will be worth every glorious second. Hit that jump for the play-by-play!