glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam III

It’s been a while since we’ve done one of these, but I was perusing the ol’ spam queue this afternoon and it looks like we have a new contender for “JSG’s Favorite Spam Comment Ever!” (All winners receive a small bronze trophy in the shape of a can of Spam, much like this one, and a coupon for One Free Hug from yours truly.) Let’s hit that blockquote:

“Hurrah, that’s what I was exploring for, what a stuff! present here at
this blog, thanks admin of this site.”

What a stuff indeed! I like this one the best because it’s just so short and sweet, and in a weird way it feels the most earnest of them all — usually spam comments are trying to get you to pay for some SEO service or buy knock-off Nikes, but this one just seems like a small Malaysian child went online for the first time and wanted to tell us we were doing a good job. Awwww. Thanks, small Malaysian child. That warms our icy robot hearts. Readers like you are why we do this.

(Top image via; Spam trophy via)

Advertisements
glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam III

Happy Anniversary, GG!

GGBirthday

GG turned 100 posts old today! This is technically Post #101, since the 100th was my total throwaway post where I came up with all those innuendos. Either way, ’tis truly a milestone for ST and I. It’s a real banner day in the glitchgoals world.

Anyway, thanks for putting up with our (OK, my) insane ramblings and our wildly accusatory posts about NFL steroid usage. ST and I have been at this since July 2012, so here’s to another 100 posts of questionably entertaining content within the next 2.5 years!

Happy Anniversary, GG!

Test Post Please Ignore

Hey guys. JSG here. I know all six of our readers may have noticed already, but I’m tinkering around with the look and feel of the blog. I had a 107-point post explaining why, but somehow it got deleted, so I’ll just leave it at fatigue/desire to change things up.

On the plus side, our sweet logo is at the top now! On the hilarious side, it wrecked the fucked out of one — just one — of our older posts. I invite you to go there and re-read it. It’s a great post, plus I added a super hilarious joke about my grandparents’ eyesight. Everyone wins!

Test Post Please Ignore

glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam II

(Image Via)

OK so I totally didn’t expect that this would become a thing, but man, I am a sucker for the ubiquitous spam messages we get sent in what is apparently the world’s most broken English. I know it’s kind of silly to even bring it up, since we all get spam messages, but these strike me as particularly awesome.

Today’s entry? BLOCKQUOTE STATUS:

“I have been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts on this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this web site. Studying this information So i am glad to exhibit that I have an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed. I such a lot indubitably will make certain to do not overlook this web site and provides it a look regularly.”

This one is particularly awesome because that entire first sentence is actually alright….until the LAST TWO WORDS. Exploring for high-quality articles? Totally normal. Looking for blog posts on “this sort of house?” Man alive, I’m dying over here. I literally cannot think of any possible situation in which “house” was meant to be the subject there.

Never change, commenter spam – never ever change. Or as I always say: “I such a lot indubitably will make certain to do not overlook this web site!”

-jsg

glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam II

glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam I

(Image Via)

One of my favorite things about glitchgoals is the resulting blog spam that comes with it – our humble blog has already received over 100 spam comments, almost all of which are automatically filtered out by WordPress. (Thanks, WordPress!) Still, some of them manage to get through the automatic filter and into the Spam comment queue.

Most of these comments are about what you’d expect, but I came across one that was so excellent I just had to share it. This beauty comes to us from user “Facebook I Love You Quotes.” Let’s hit that blockquote:

“Pretty portion of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to say that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing on your augment or even I achievement you get admission to constantly rapidly.”

I love how much more unintelligible this comment gets in only two sentences. “Pretty portion of content” is just spotty English (and, incidentally, my new favorite way to compliment someone’s work), but “even I achievement you get admission to constantly rapidly” is the kind of thing you get if you give magnet poetry to a retarded cat. That sentence closes with two adverbs for God’s sake – man this kills me.

Never change, commenter spam – never ever change. Or as I always say: “Any way I’ll be subscribing on your augment!”

-jsg

glitchgoals Gatekeeping: Great Moments in Spam I