Poking the Dragon

Huh, I guess it IS a real saying after all

A friend of mine yesterday told me to stop testing out an injured finger by telling me to “stop poking the dragon.” Has anyone ever heard this specific saying before? Is this a regional thing? (Regional to, like, Narnia I guess?) I’ve heard of poking the bear, but this really amused me.

It also sounded a lot like the world’s strangest sexual innuendo. Or at least it did until I made up 105 more of them:

What do these innuendos mean? Like all good innuendos, virtually nothing — but they made me breathe through my nose at a slightly faster rate than normal, which implies some level of amusement, and things like that get posted on the blog. You’re welcome!


  • Poking the dragon
  • Feeding the animals
  • Toasting the quesadilla
  • Organizing the junk drawer
  • Draining the cooler
  • Washing the dishes
  • Adjusting the antenna
  • Harpooning the comet
  • Applying the elbow grease
  • Mopping the linoleum
  • Emptying the spittoon
  • Entering the high-occupancy vehicle lane
  • Leaving a trail of jelly beans in the forest
  • Robbing the fish market
  • Salting the cod
  • Pickling the onions
  • Mashing the avocado
  • Grating the nutmeg
  • Tapping the glass
  • Hanging the tinsel on the tree
  • Redoing the assignment
  • Disciplining the puppy
  • Meeting an old friend for lunch
  • Juggling the apples
  • Scrubbing the patio
  • Going 12 rounds with George Foreskin
  • Shearing the sheep
  • Sending the truffle hog hunting in the forest
  • Quarantining the outbreak
  • E-mailing the boss
  • Packing the car for the trip
  • Installing the fire pit
  • Landing on Free Parking
  • Trapping the bear
  • Panning for gold
  • Looking for the Loch Ness Monster
  • Tip-toeing through the tulips
  • Tuning the banjo
  • Engaging the clutch
  • Rolling the sushi
  • Setting the crock pot to high
  • Preheating the oven
  • Fumigating the hornet’s nest
  • Cleaning the litter box
  • Dousing the coach in Gatorade
  • Harvesting the crops
  • Donating to charity
  • Shelling the edamame
  • Pureeing the mash
  • Pumping the tires
  • Dunking the donut in the coffee
  • Spiking the punch bowl
  • Landing in the emergency airport
  • Roasting the cornish game hen
  • Separating the wheat from the chaff
  • Burying the nuts for winter
  • Being knighted by the queen
  • Foraging for berries
  • Knocking over the sand castle
  • Cleaning barnacles off the ship
  • Hacking into the mainframe
  • Burying the drop
  • Laying fiber-optic cable along the ocean floor
  • Utilizing the negative space
  • Re-routing the bus
  • Making way for the presidential motorcade
  • Faulting off the starting blocks (??)
  • Planning the parade
  • Shoveling coal into the coal furnace
  • Caulking the bathroom tiles
  • Unwrapping the present on Christmas Eve
  • Feeding cherries to Pac-Man
  • Ironing the fine silks
  • Turning an unassisted triple play
  • Letting your assignment beat you deep
  • Getting behind the secondary
  • Putting the jewels in the safe deposit box
  • Lighting the Menorah
  • Spinning the dreidel
  • Hemming the skirt
  • Deploying the SSIS package
  • Compacting the database
  • Conducting a cross-sectional study
  • Administering treatment to the affected area
  • Evaluating the draft class
  • Shredding the pulled pork
  • Frosting the cake
  • Letting the pie cool on the windowsill
  • Bruleeing the meringue
  • Fighting over the wishbone
  • Kneading the biscuit dough
  • Picketing the abortion clinic
  • Brining the corned beef
  • Adding water to the active yeast
  • Flouring the board
  • Corking the bat
  • Getting the ball on the green
  • Challenging the scoring record
  • Using the bellows to stoke the fire
  • Floating in the Dead Sea
  • Stamping the passport
  • Rubbing the styrofoam together
  • Doubling down on your hand
  • Anointing the altar in Holy Water
  • Staking the vampire
  • Trapping miners in the coal mine


Image via

Poking the Dragon

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