The (ab)use of the “this post sponsored by whiskey” tag on this blog isn’t an accident – much of my writing is determined by getting the creative juices flowing. It just so happens that “creative juice” is literal, in my case, and it represents whiskey.
With that, I present to you the transcript of my chat with the guy I just met at the liquor store:
JSG: Hey man, how’s it going?
[JSG hands liquor store employee (Cashier) a bottle of Buffalo Trace]
Cashier: Good, man. Nice choice of bourbon.
JSG: Thanks. I’ve been trying to get more into bourbon lately instead of Canadian whiskeys. [Pauses] Because…well I was gonna say I was raised on Canadian whiskey, but I realized how bad that would sound.
Cashier: [Laugh] I know right? Like “It’s cool, my parents are from Portland, so it’s expected.”
JSG: [Laughs] Yeah I mean, I’m not gonna lie, living there taught me a lot about booze in particular.
Cashier: Wait…are you actually from Portland?
JSG: Ha yeah, I figured you said that as a joke, but it turns out that’s…actually true. This probably isn’t helping my case any, is it?
Cashier: Dude do you watch Portlandia? That’s like my favorite show right now.
JSG: [Being polite] Yeah I’ve seen a bunch of them. It’s really not bad at all.
Cashier: Cool, man. Do you need a bag?
JSG: Nah, I’d rather not waste the paper.
Cashier: Much respect…ah, I get it. Because you’re from Portland. Need a receipt?
JSG: Didn’t we JUST go through this?
Aaaaaand scene. The moral of the story: I have a new fifth of Buffalo Trace! Jealousssssssss?