Fake TV Show Pitches, Vol. III

Best show never made?! (Yes.)

Weirdly, TV execs have yet to greenlight “Holmy Don’t Play That” on any network. Although it’s weird, let’s give it a few months – that’s about how long the last one took, right?? In the meantime, I have another NHL-themed show that not only offers a new concept, it appeals to nostalgia for 90’s kids (ONLY 90’s KIDS WILL REMEMBER THIS!)

Are you even ready for this? If so, hit that jump, bitches!

D-d-d-does Patrick Marleau have it?! (Yes.)

Name: Patrick Marleau-deon GUTS

The Premise: Remember how Jeremy Roenick, of all people, called out Patrick Marleau for being “gutless” after a meaningless playoff loss? Well this series presupposes that Marleau goes to extreme lengths to bolster his reputation – by re-creating the hit Nickeloedeon series in the first-ever athlete-sponsored TV game show! (I know what you’re thinking: Summer Sanders was an athlete and SHE hosted “Figure It Out” – I KNOW that’s what you’re thinking, but let’s not forget that swimming isn’t REALLY a sport, it’s just a glorified survival activity.) Obviously, the top two will face off in a battle to the top of the Aggro Crag.

The Twist: Whereas the original GUTS featured three contestants against one another, this show will one-up that expectation – literally! Patrick Marleau and Jeremy Roenick each pick two contestants for their teams, in an effort to “one-up” both each other and the original show. The winning team gets to disparage the other on cable TV, as Roenick has done several times over. Also they’ll win some BK Ratch Tech shoes and a Zenith VCR I guess. Loser gets slimed? Sure, let’s go with that.

Social Media Integration: There’s an insane amount of 90’s nostalgia on social networks like Facebook and reddit – the trick will be to create a lot of social groups and do semi-recurring reddit AMAs in order to generate groundswell. Ideally, we’ll get Moira Quirk and Mike O’Malley to do AMAs initially and we’ll get Roenick and Marleau to create team pages on Facebook. Additionally, appeals will be made to the top four trending celebrities on Twitter to do a “Patrick Marleau-deon GUTS All-Stars” show once the season has ended.

I’m not saying this WON’T work – I mean, I pitched it after all – but I’m not saying it WON’T work. Check please!


Fake TV Show Pitches, Vol. III

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