PLEASE Stop Having This Conversation at Work


I work in an office (for now).  As does jsg.  Between the two of us, we have had (or overheard) this conversation about 10 billion times.  And I know what you’re thinking: that’s some hyperbole.  It’s not.  We counted.  Anyway, people, PLEASE STOP HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AT WORK.  Every time you have this conversation, everyone loses.  Asking someone what they did this weekend is a fine question.  Unless they are an asshole, the person asking is presumably interested.  Saying “Just took it easy, you know” is the most god damn lame thing you can possibly say.  We are at work.  The day has already started shittily.  Why not tell an interesting story, or at least put a creative spin on the most hackneyed response of all time?  Man you suck.


I do sales, and I talk to a LOT of people.  99% of them hate their job and if it’s any day but Friday they wish it was Friday.  When it is Friday, they wish the day was over.  Apparently, they are REALLY stoked for the weekend.  But as seen in the first comic, they do nothing on their weekend.  In conclusion: they wait all week for the weekend,  but do nothing with that time.  What?


Is there a more asinine comment than depressingly stating what day it is?  Clearly we all know it’s Monday, and we’re all at work.  Turns out pointing out we have the maximum amount of time until the weekend brings people down, assuming they dislike their job.  If everyone I’ve ever met is any indication…


For some reason, people think being busy is a situation that commands respect and dignity.  Everyone you talk to has SO much going on despite the fact that every time you see them they are fucking around on Facebook or Yahoo! news or whatever.  “Dude I have SO much to do because I waste SO much time!!  Side note: I made all these comics at work on a Friday.  Why do you think I told everyone I was so busy that day??


Did you know?  People don’t sleep at all and never make mistakes when caffeine is present.  This one is just a lame excuse for fucking up.  You fucked up because you suck.  If you had your coffee this morning, you would still fuck up but you’d do it slightly faster.


This one may be my most hated comment of all time.  What the hell does “pretty good for a (insert day here)” mean?  I mean, I kinda of get it on say Monday (even though I’d still be annoyed) but I hear this every day of the week.  If you presume Thursday and Friday are the “good” days of the week, when someone says “pretty good for a Friday” what kind of expectations do you have?  Why don’t you explain how amazingly badass your day has been, considering you’ve been waiting for it all week?  It’s almost time to do nothing all weekend!!!!!


If you say things like this, or any other conversation above, please quit your job right now.  It is clearly sucking the life out of you and that is why you are so disinterested.  If everyone could simply avoid these conversations, the work world would be a better place.  Maybe you wouldn’t hate your job so much.


PLEASE Stop Having This Conversation at Work

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